First, you need to face the truth of where you are, what you are doing, and where you are going. It is said that the truth can hurt, and maybe that is so, but the truth remains the truth, no matter how you try to hide it or hide from it.
You tell the truth, finally. You say it. I am addicted. That is the start, and it is scary. Embarrassing. Uncomfortable. No matter how you want to sugarcoat it, you are in a difficult situation. You have to say that you are an addict not only to yourself, but to others as well. You need to ask for help, and for some people, that is a really hard thing to do.
Next, you need to face up to what you have been doing. You have been harming your health, harming your life, your relationships, and your future. You have to decide if you want these things to stop. You have to decide if you are ready to do whatever it takes to make it possible to stop. And then you have to decide where you are going if you keep using and where can you go if you stop using. You must tell yourself the truth no matter how painful.
Getting into treatment has to happen. Perhaps a medically supervised detox is needed before treatment can begin. A new mind-set has to take hold. An acknowledgment has to be made that you cannot do this alone. All of these admissions are prerequisites to the giant step you are about to take.
Sometimes it just seems impossible to picture yourself as able to have fun if you are not high. How can you feel comfortable about yourself in ways you have no experience being? How can you feel you will be happy without being high?
These are questions that are in your way because you are projecting a future based on the unknown. Trust that millions of people, yes, even addicts in recovery, are having a fine time in life being straight and clean. Just ask them. They really do say that the worst day in recovery is better than the best day being high. Imagine that!
So facing what you know needs to be faced, no matter how hard, is like a nice big deep breath. Like a weight that you have thrown off because you have known for a long time that the time was coming. Facing what needs to be faced is honest, moral, and noble. It is also the first baby step back to self-esteem, self-control and self-respect. This baby step happens to be gigantic.
It is said that our biggest fears are the fears of the unknown and that we sometimes stay in bad situations because the devil that we know is better than the devil that we don’t know. Don’t stay in a bad situation because you are scared. Everyone who faces what must be faced is scared. Everyone in treatment understands you are scared because they are scared too.
It’s OK to be scared. It is just not OK to do nothing about it. And you know that, don’t you?