I’m pretty sure that’s the title of a song by the Beatles, Well, even if it isn’t, it’s true. Sunday is on the phone to Monday. What that means is that we generally stay on a path. Pretty much what we do one day is closely related to what we do the following day. We are, after all, creatures of habit.
I have asked you to think about how you think. I have also asked you to pay attention to how you feel. And now I am going to ask you to monitor your habits or your rituals. We all have rituals. Me? I get up, brush my teeth, and get the newspaper from outside the door. Then the coffee, and then sitting in a particular seat. I do my morning ritual over and over. It’s comforting in a way . . . mindless. Repetition, remember, makes a habit. Habit goes into autopilot, and autopilot is the admission ticket to the tape recorder, where it stays and plays and plays.
So now what if your Sunday is calling your Monday and the conversation goes something like this: I need to use. I have to get high. I have to get high to function. No newspaper and other morning stuff for me. Oh no, I have to get busy right away to score. Money, do I have enough money? Well, you get the gist.
This is the bad news. We have created a very bad habit that needs tending to. To make a new good habit, the first thing we need is awareness. What are we doing? Why are we doing it? Is this good for me? (Read about the most important question in the world in the next post.)
We tend to decide to make changes on particular dates. Mondays are prime. I will start on Monday. Or January. I will do it starting in January. It’s like we need to have a time to get used to the thought of something new. Or maybe just some more time to put off the inevitable. How many times have you thought about quitting using? Once? Ten times? A hundred?
Everyone has thought of quitting at one time or another, but it is put off because it is too hard, or not yet, or I will do it soon, or I have this party coming up so I cannot right now, or so many reasons for “just not now.” Any of this sounding familiar?
I know this is difficult. Quite possibly the toughest thing you will ever do is to say enough using. Enough means your using friends are history. Enough means no more clubs and club drugs. Enough means your entire life is going into overhaul. Enough means every place you used is off limits. Enough means you have had enough, and this time you mean it and you ask for help. You must have help.
The entire above overhaul does not mean you are going to become a monk. You will have new friends that you meet at meetings or rehab or sober-living houses. You will go to new places and do new things. There are actually people out there having a fine time and not using. Do not think you cannot have fun if you are straight. Or that sex will not be as good or that you will not have a good enough personality. All will be fine, really. Time and patience. It will all come with time and patience. Hundreds of thousands of people are in recovery and having a fine time of it!
Every single person who is in recovery had to change the conversation from what it was on Sunday to what it would be, could be, on Monday. A decision was made that finally said enough. You will know when you mean it. A feeling will come over you. Yes, you’ll be apprehensive and scared, but you’ll also be hopeful and relieved.
You’ll know that tomorrow is a new day for you, that the time is now, that this time is the time.
So go on, make it a Monday because you can. Goodbye, Sunday, goodbye.