This is a question with as many answers as there are addicts. For some, enough ends when they die because it is never enough. For others, their life has become so unmanageable they know if they don’t say “enough,” they will die. Many of these unfortunate souls still do not say “enough”! Incredibly, the real possibility of dying, for some, is not a deterrent.
Some people are so hopeless that facing life without being high holds no joy. Others are so afflicted with mental issues that they have no coping abilities which would allow them to consider not using as an option. Others have such sad stories and have ruined their lives to a degree where there is no coming back. Many have used every drug in every combination imaginable and have done irreparable harm to their brains. For these poor souls, enough is never enough.
Assuming that you are not mentally incapable, and let’s further assume you do not want to die, when then is enough, enough?
For you, maybe you cannot handle another episode of being so dope-sick that you cannot function. Or maybe you have been given a last-ditch ultimatum from a loved one or your employer. Or maybe you have just had enough of all it takes to get high. The stealing and dealing and lying and jail time, the prostituting yourself, the self-hatred that never seems to go away. Or maybe you thought you could stop anytime you wanted to, but then you found you were wrong. Maybe you are not yet as bad as you have seen others become, and you do not want to take any more risk. Maybe you have just said enough. I call the word “enough” a magic word because once you say it and really mean it, then enough is enough, and you can begin your journey back to yourself.
No one can say “enough” for you. No one can beg you, bribe you, browbeat you, implore you, or threaten you to say the magic word. Saying enough has to come from a place inside you that believes you are worth saving, that wants you to start recovery so you can start recovering who you were before you ever started putting chemicals into your body. Enough means you are ready. Enough means you want yourself back!
Do not do this on your own. Please read chapter 5 again which will really hammer out the support, sharing, encouragement, obligation, BS meter, and a host of additional reasons why you should not do this alone.
If you have said enough, get going and start gathering information. Do you have insurance? If so, where will your insurance be accepted?
No insurance? Find state-funded programs. Can you go through treatment as an inpatient? Outpatient? Are there organizations in your area, such as the Salvation Army, that can help? There is also an organization called Faith Farm where you can get help in their nine-month live-in facility. This is for people without insurance or any means of payment. There is no city without meetings. There is help if you want it. Say it and mean it; enough is enough because it is. If not now, when? Don’t have it be death by overdose that says it for you. Do it while there is still time. Go! Now! Whatever it takes, you will do it. You know you want to . . . you are just scared. Everyone is scared. Don’t be scared alone. Reach out and let people reach in.